Ardella-Langston Hughes

I would liken you
To a night without stars
Were it not for your eyes.
I would liken you
To a sleep without dreams
Were it not for your songs.

I read this and remember that brief moment in time when you loved me back and everything was so much better. The stars shined brighter and the birds sang sweeter and all that other good stuff. For a while I was fooling myself thinking I was over you but in reality I was just doing anything I could to make you hurt as much as I did. I remember that day when everything came tumbling down and I couldn’t even cry. I just stared and hurt so much that nothing could come out. Of course after that the tears flowed like rivers from my eyes so much so that I lost part of myself. I still miss you with every fiber of my being and I want so badly just to see you again to hear your voice and see the smile in your eyes when you look at me. I could try to list all the things I miss about you but I don’t have the time or energy to do it anymore and I’m the one left hurting after all that. 

I saw someone today and he reminded me of you. He had a lotus tattoo on his elbow just like you. I smiled at the sigh of it, because I always smile when I think about you. I’m not saying its always a good thing but I can’t erase all the good things I assoicate with you and the time we shared.